Angel Treatment

This past week an Angel named Hazel Gardner flew in on a rainbow to give me a lesson in self-confidence: self-confidence in walking and eating in public. After landing in Albuquerque she rented a Toyota Avalon sedan for the 140-mile drive up here to Taos. Her reservation had been upgraded to the top of the line free of charge due to lack of smaller rental cars. Avalon, of course, is the paradise King Arthur was carried off to after his death. Hazel's paradise glistened with silver and burled wood trim and mysterious blinking lights of green, red, and gold. Joy surged through me with a jolt when I discovered it was so spacious that I could lift my own legs in and out of the car, as well as my entire body. For over a year I hadn't been able to do this alone. "At first I was mad at this Avalon for being so complicated," Hazel said. "But then I realized it had been given to me for some special reason."

Hazel was brimming with angel lore and magnetism. She brought two lengthy written visualizations describing how to keep one's guardian angel at hand. Her niece had sent her the same angel birthday card as my niece had sent me. And halfway through dinner at the Apple Tree restaurant in Taos she looked up above my head and exclaimed, "Look! Three silver angels arranged as a mobile are floating with their arms outstretched over your head." Sure enough, they slowly circled around a small central sphere, symbol of the universe.

Eating in public has become one of the banes of my existence. Since the Parkinsonian tremor is helped very little by levodopa medication, one has either to take a second medicine providing substitute serotonin or to live with the tremor. I have lived with a tremor in my right hand and arm for more than a dozen years. It was diagnosed originally as "essential tremor," meaning tremor was the only symptom; but I was warned it might some day progress to PD. Back then the tremor was treated with Inderal 60 mg. pills, and they still help although my Santa Fe neurologist said they wouldn't work with PD. If I take one of these pills before dinner and select the right food, I don't look like as much of a pig.

Soups, pasta, rice, and limp cooked spinach are out of the question. Salads I eat mostly with my fingers, so they are generally taboo in public. I look forward to finding some handicap eating utensils and a lifetime supply of designer bibs. In the meantime, sticking to my left hand and salmon, sea bass, shrimp, zucchini, and scalloped potatoes, I managed to eat out at five restaurants with my visiting Angel. And at home I had no problem whatsoever consuming her inspired gifts of a chocolate eclair and a pound of Mrs. See's chocolates. It was my own private Avalon.